Fond of a good girls’ getaway, this week Louise decided it was high time her and her Housewives posse tottled off to Port Douglas for a holiday. Six opinionated women who don’t mind a bit of drama, what could possibly go wrong? (Here’s a hint, read below).
She was still reeling from Julia’s sex toy show-and-tell, but Michelle had to put her disgust aside because she had a problem of epic proportions – how many designer bikinis does one pack for an exotic escape? Her bestie Gilda had it covered (kind of) … “Four, five or maybe six?”
Louise bullies Anne into getting a faux glow ahead of the trip. The spray tan virgin is suitably scared of turning orange and stripping down to her underwear in Lou’s kitchen, but daaaamn the Champagne Lady’s got a great figure. Note: Lou served coffee instead of bubbles. And she calls themselves besties.
The Housewives have arrived!
Meanwhile in Matakana, Julia was also in a flap about her bikini selection. She modelled some options for her hubby Michael, who said he wanted to see “better tones”. Thank you, Karl Lagerfeld.
Angela’s assistant Lea has another hard but rewarding day on the job – she got a pedicure with her boss. While getting pampered her French understudy was also told that she’ll have to join Angela in Port Douglas to learn the importance of balancing work and play. Gosh, Lea’s job is truly terrible.
This week, Angela’s inspirational quote came in the form of hot beverages – “When making herbal tea, leave the tea bag in to allow all the nutrients to soak into the water.” Truly aspirational.
Before jetting out, Anne enjoyed a high tea with her 12-year-old nephew. It was rather pleasant until the poor kid literally (not literally) died when Anne got to talking about her sex life. Rowan said it best when he said, “TMI”.
Preening? Check! Primping? Check. Enough togs to sink a ship? Check again. The Housewives arrived in Port Douglas and Louise informed them of their sleeping arrangements – World War III almost ensued when the girls were told they’d have to share their colossal-sized three-bedroom villas. Just terrible. Anne joked that she hoped they were all alive by the end of the trip – and we hoped so too.
The sun shone. Angela chillaxed. Lea worked hard. Julia stole the big room. Gilda got annoyed. Michelle got annoyed because Gilda got annoyed. Louise and Anne were cute-as besties.
After a heated start to the trip, the girls played a verrrry revealing game of I have never. Here’s what we now know – Anne’s the dark horse, whose had an affair with a married man, Louise has a boob job and Angela let slip she’s had a one night stand.
Hardly the holiday from hell you thought it would be, right? Wrong! Next week’s teaser hints at one pretty one epic bust-up … even level-headed Louise says it’s bad. Dun dun.
